


The Shadow of the Day // Kiss Me

by pipkin



Series: Home AU [2]
Category: SHINee
Genre: 'sometimes it's 80/20 and that's okay', Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:55:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11620197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipkin/pseuds/pipkin
Summary: ‘Wait. Just a hug, please.’He paused and tried to make sense of the voice behind him, scrunching his face and rapidly blinking his eyes.





	1. The Shadow of the Day

Kibum groaned and moved away from the gust of hot breath that rushed past his ear, a blanket of beery exhale tucking into his nostrils. He wrinkled his nose and jerked his shoulder away from the man behind him, trying to get him to uncouple from him.

‘Wait. Just a hug, please.’

He paused and tried to make sense of the voice behind him, scrunching his face and rapidly blinking his eyes. It was relatively dark in their bedroom, though the outer passage light was on, and he didn’t think he’d been asleep for very long. He knew that Jinki would be back late; he had been at a work dinner, and he always came back late. Usually he would teasingly wheedle his way into Kibum’s embrace, but today his voice was just...flat.

Kibum pulled his hand out from where it had been resting under his chin, and lifted it over his duvet, clasping the back of Jinki’s hand. It was soft and a little bit clammy, a feeling as familiar as the smell of his own perfume, and he wriggled his fingers to settle between Jinki’s, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. Jinki flexed around his fingers momentarily, and then stilled.

Kibum swallowed. He wanted to speak, but his throat was strangely dry, and something stopped him. He breathed carefully, aware now of the suit sleeves that were warm beneath his wrist. Jinki was still dressed, and curiosity prompted him to untangle his hand and turn around, still in a half embrace.

He hadn’t even unknotted his tie.

Kibum’s brows creased as Jinki looked at him, and for a few heartbeats they lay trapped in each other’s eyes. Reflected light from the hallway glinted across Jinki’s pupils, tiny windows of exhaustion that shuttered as he blinked heavily, his face slack and devoid of any expression. Kibum studied him, lowering his eyes to sweep across his cheeks, noting the grazes that crossed though the reddened patches of his skin. As though the feather-light weight of his eyelids were too much to bear, Jinki sighed and let them flutter shut.

‘Thanks.’

Abruptly, he pulled himself away, off the bed and towards the bathroom, leaving Kibum bewildered and chewing the inside of his lip. He listened as the tap ran and the toilet flushed and as Jinki came back into the room, clad only in a vest and boxer shorts, he pushed himself up – to question, to confront – but at a skittering glance from Jinki, his words sank bank into his throat. Jinki slid under the covers and shuffled closer and closer until his head lay on Kibum’s pillow. He bridged the inch-wide gap to press a kiss to Kibum’s lips.

‘I really needed that,’ he whispered, his minted breath setting the cool imprint on Kibum’s mouth tingling. Still, Kibum didn’t say a word, trying to gauge his mood; everything felt muddled, perhaps because it was too dark, perhaps because he hadn’t woken up properly. Jinki had always respected his dislikes; disregarding them just to hold him, with no chatter, and not the hint of a joke...

They lay nose to nose for a while, eyes open, kissing in staccato, until Jinki slid down to nuzzle at Kibum’s collar bones, finally coming to a rest with his forehead pressed against Kibum’s sternum.

He sniffed once.

And then again.

An unsure, shuddering inhale vibrated though them both, sending a rush of ice chips careening down Kibum’s spine.

‘Babe?’ he whispered urgently. ‘Babe, Jinki.’ He tried to tug him away, tug him up, but Jinki shook his head emphatically, his forcibly muted sounds pinching at Kibum’s heart and causing his face to crumple. He patted him insistently, trying to clear the haze of panic in his mind, and his other hand jumped from Jinki’s shoulder to his nape. He worked upwards into hair, stroking, scratching and gently tugging at his roots.

After a time he quieted, only an occasional sniffle escaping him.

‘...Kibum?’

‘Babe?’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ He pressed a kiss to his head, more sound than feeling, and Jinki murmured in acknowledgement. There seemed to be nothing else to say, and Kibum lay staring at the dark outline of their curtains, following the rhythm of Jinki’s breath as he fell asleep. It was only as his own eyes were closing that he noticed the other sound, a soft shushing that fell around them like leaves.

He hadn’t even realised he was doing it.


	2. Kiss Me

The next morning, a few hours later, Kibum cracked open an eyelid and pulled a face. Jinki had stayed in his position all night, and after extracting himself, Kibum could see an imprint of a button on the side of his face, where his cheek had rested against his pyjamas. He tucked his pillow under jinki’s head and left him to head to the kitchen, pulling open cupboards and drawers, and half an hour later, he had a fresh pile of syrupy pancakes on the table, with last night’s leftovers heated and covered on the worktop.

He glanced at the clock, calculating how much time he had before Jinki had to wake up for work and rushed through a shower, briskly rubbing at his hair and walked back naked to the bedroom. Jinki was still fast asleep and he was loath to wake him but...

He slid in between the sheets again, replacing the pillow under Jinki’s head with his arm, using his free hand to gently tickle and trace patterns over Jinki’s skin; his side, his tummy, even teasing him over his boxers, but no matter; he didn’t wake up. Kibum pouted to himself, and pressed his lips to his boyfriend’s and then gave up, sighing and settling on his pillow, his fingers still caressing Jinki’s arm. He closed his eyes, rubbing gently and soothingly, trying not to remember his worry from the night before, and then Jinki stirred, pushing away from his arms, scraping sleep from his eyes and rapidly blinking.

‘Morning, my love,’ he croaked. He pulled the duvet closer and looked in surprise at Kibum. ‘Oh. You’re naked.’

‘I am,’ Kibum affirmed, a slightly bashful expression curving his lips upwards. He sat up and fluffed Jinki’s discarded pillow, pushing it back under Jinki’s head as his eyes followed him, a smile blooming on his face. ’Oh...stop looking at me.’

Jinki laughed.

‘That’s all I want to do,’ he whispered, pushing aside the duvet and tugging Kibum down towards him, wrapping loose arms around his neck.

They kissed softly, until Kibum pulled away to settle himself on Jinki’s thighs. He grinned down at him, both hands teasing, rubbing at his visible skin and running over the outline of his cock, making Jinki swallow.

‘Bummie. Do we have time...?’

Kibum was already shaking his head, and pulling an unsatisfied face, he moved to the side. He tugged the boxers down and off, and then settled between Jinki’s spread legs, flicking a look up towards his face. He was watching him –

‘Will you stop looking at me?’

‘Why?’

‘Just because!’

‘But I need to!’

Kibum rolled his eyes and ignored him, leaning down to kiss the side of his shaft, slowly working Jinki bigger with his mouth, and enjoying the pleasured hums from Jinki’s throat.

‘Ah, Kibummie?’

Kibum looked up at his tentative tone.

‘Kiss me?’

Of course that was what he wanted. His eyes softened and he slipped Jinki out of his mouth, spitting saliva into his hand and shuffling his body upwards as his hand circled his cock, tightening and then sliding down to the base. He settled beside him, back to eyelevel and within easy reach of his mouth, his lips quirking as Jinki’s eyelids fluttered at his up-stroke. Their eyes caught in each other’s, and Kibum bit his lip, stroking a little faster. Jinki sighed, murmuring again a request for a kiss.

Kibum leant forward and met his lips, his tongue reaching out to slip into Jinki’s open mouth and Jinki whimpered, moving closer to him and pushing his own tongue into Kibum’s mouth. They breathed in little staggers, kisses getting more insistent and Kibum’s hand working faster, and suddenly, unexpectedly, Jinki groaned, his teeth scraping over Kibum’s lips, and spilling over his hand.

His eyes closed and he leant his head back, breathing through his mouth, and missing Kibum’s wide eyes and astonished smile.

‘Baby?’

‘Mmm?’

‘What the hell?’

Jinki opened his eyes and a smile spread languidly across his face as he caught Kibum’s bemused look.

‘I told you I just need to see you.’

‘Wow.’

‘I know.’

‘Are you okay though?’

Jinki closed his eyes momentarily, taking a deep breath and then exhaled, breathing out an affirmation.

‘I’m okay. There were just too many bad things happening. I heard the news and then...everything felt bad. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it. People at work were being so blasé, like it was normal, you know? I just didn’t want to be there, but I didn’t even get a proper break. And then I had to see the same people afterwards, and they spent the whole time discussing it, like it was usual, and so normal. And not something awful.’

‘You could have called me, you know.’

Jinki looked earnestly at Kibum’s face, at the hurt in his eyes and the discontented twist of his lips.

‘I wanted to, I really did. But how do I say that over the phone, or how do I text you that?’ Jinki sighed. ‘It’s not like we knew him...And I know you were really busy as well. I just didn’t, my love. It was just a really shitty day and I really, really wanted you. I don’t like bad things happening.’

Kibum sighed.

‘Nor do I. I heard and I thought I should tell you, but I didn’t think you’d be this affected.’

‘I didn’t think so either. But it just got worse and worse. The more I thought of it. I think...Kibum. I think we’re really lucky, you and I.’

He stopped talking, looking to the side and swallowing as his eyes watered, the expression on his face beginning to blank out.

Kibum quickly wiped his hand on Jinki’s vest before he reached up to cup his face.

‘Babe, look at me.’

Jinki looked at him, carefully focussing on his face and seeming to drink him in.

‘Should I call in sick for you today?’

Jinki hesitated, but after a moment, shook his head.

‘I need to go in,’ he said morosely.

Kibum nodded, palms still resting on Jinki’s cheeks. ‘Then we’ll get through it. We _are_ really lucky. You and I. But we can’t save everyone.’

‘I know. I know. But his voice, I listened so often, and he just...he just...’ Jinki trailed off for a moment. ‘He was really important to me,’ he finished sadly.

‘I know, baby, I know.’

They looked at each other, and for a moment it seemed as though their simultaneous recollection made the past real around them.

Jinki swallowed, setting his jaw and inhaling deeply, finally registering the sweet scent that permeated the air.

‘Oh. Did you cook?’

‘Mmhmm.’ Kibum gave him a little smile as his thumbs stroked his face.

‘I am really lucky,’ Jinki whispered, his eyes straying once again to Kibum’s lips.

Kibum leant closer, stealing another kiss.

‘Kibummie.’

Kibum raised his eyebrows.

‘Is there cum on your hand?’

Kibum flashed him a wicked grin and let go of his face, swiping the side of his thumb and forefinger over Jinki’s pouting lips.

‘Nope.’

‘Hey!’

He burst into raucous laughter and made to hop off the bed, wanting to dress and eat.

‘No – wait!’

Kibum turned back.

‘Kiss me.’

**Author's Note:**

> 20/03/1976 – 20/07/2017  
> I didn't know your name, but I did know your voice.  
> May everyone find what they need to pull them through.  
> 


End file.
